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The Second Popehat Award For Web Design

Nov 7, 2009
By Patrick.
WTF?

When we first gave this award, we were so certain that nothing could approach Implosion Group on Dan Winter’s Fractal Physics that we promised the award would never be given again.

We were mistaken.

The second Popehat Award for Web Design goes to George Hutchins, Republican candidate for Congress in the fourth district of North Carolina.  I am shocked and awed not only by Mr. Hutchins’ aesthetic sensibilities, which approach the very best of Geocities in their baffling riot of color and confusion, but by his platform, which calls for repeal of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, for starters.

And a return to British monarchy over the United States.

Be sure to click around.  Explore Mr. Hutchins’ vision for a better America, free of the “Sanford and Son” usurpers who illegally occupy the White House, in place of its rightful owner, Queen Elizabeth II.

Last 5 posts by Patrick

22 Comments
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22 Comments

  1. Legally UnBound  •  Nov 7, 2009 @6:24 pm

    44,000+ Internet surfers have now burned their retina. OW! That hurt . . . thanks guys . . .

  2. Jim  •  Nov 7, 2009 @7:04 pm

    I kinda liked it

  3. Marty  •  Nov 7, 2009 @8:10 pm

    WOW. I’m still seeing spots on my wall…

  4. Al  •  Nov 7, 2009 @9:16 pm

    That’s the best GeoCities tribute page I’ve seen yet.

  5. Al  •  Nov 7, 2009 @9:22 pm

    Damn it. I could swear I was being original there for a second.

  6. Bruce  •  Nov 8, 2009 @4:31 am

    Even better when you now this thread exists on his forum.

    http://georgehutchins.activeboard.com/index.spark?aBID=132939&p=3&topicID=32115242

    Are we seeing the before or after of the website upgrade?

  7. Rich Rostrom  •  Nov 8, 2009 @8:42 am

    Bear in mind that anyone can declare himself a candidate, and that it usually takes only a modest number of petition signatures to get on a primary ballot.

    Also bear in mind that in a safe district, opposition candidates are often flakes, because it’s hard to find a serious candidate who is willing to bang his head against a brick wall. Whereas there are many energetic fruitcakes who either want the nomination for the publicity or seriously believe that their peculiar views wil win over the public. It is not unusual for such candidates to be exposed as thieves, perverts, or cultists during the election.

  8. E.Z.  •  Nov 8, 2009 @9:34 am

    “It is not unusual for such candidates to be exposed as thieves, perverts, or cultists during the election.”

    And it’s not unusual for the incumbents to be exposed as thieves and/or perverts after the election.

  9. SG  •  Nov 8, 2009 @9:38 am

    I love it !

    “BATH, ENGLAND – ANCIENT ROMAN HOT POOL
    Since the year 1979, I have been TRAVELING the World and America for Answers.”

  10. SG  •  Nov 8, 2009 @9:43 am

    PS : also, his take on the history of the British empire (http://www.georgehutchins.com/hutchins-4-us-congress-6.htm) kinda reminds me of Jack Chick’s tracts, which is in my book the best praise you can receive… when running for White Straitjacket, but not for the White House.

  11. Patrick  •  Nov 8, 2009 @10:26 am

    His phrasing is odd. The entire page speaks of empires in decline by way of tolerance for GAY MALE HOMOSEXUALS. If I didn’t know better, I’d suppose he thinks lesbianism is just fine.

  12. SG  •  Nov 8, 2009 @11:29 am

    Well, know what, Patrick ? He kinda does.

    “=> ONLY GAY MALE HOMOSEXUAL MISCONDUCT is Mentioned in the CHRISTIAN BIBLE, and the JEWISH TORAH, as a crime to be punished by DEATH.

    => FEMALE LESBIANS, GAY FEMALE HOMOSEXUALS, and BI-SEXUAL FEMALES, {Women who Love BOTH Men and other Females}, are NOT mentioned in the CHRISTIAN BIBLE, NOR The JEWISH TORAH as a crime, in any form.”

    “Further, it is very STUPID, for GIRLS WHO LOVE GIRLS, to be in the same organization as Boys who want to be Girls, but want to have boy-friends, such as the GAY – LESBIAN organizations who OBAMA – NATION, begs to have votes from.

    => We Want NO Gay Male Homosexual Votes !!!

    WE WELCOME ALL FEMALE VOTERS !!!”

    (http://georgehutchins.activeboard.com/index.spark?aBID=132939&p=3&topicID=32024130)

    That guy sounds exactly like Jack Chick : he wants to do politics based on a literal interpretation of the Bible.

    I’m eagerly awaiting (since he’s a USMC vet) for his ordering the retirement of all choppers, aircraft carriers, rifles, et al., since these aren’t mentioned in the Bible (or Torah), and their replacement with swords, slings, and horse-drawn chariots of war.

  13. Doug  •  Nov 8, 2009 @4:14 pm

    My eyes and head hurt. It looks like he has tried to put enough stuff on his front page so as to snare the unsuspecting searcher to his site. And boy, my eyes still hurt.

  14. Vedrfolnir  •  Nov 8, 2009 @5:39 pm

    Is this for real? This is a joke, right?

  15. Clint  •  Nov 8, 2009 @6:33 pm

    My favorite is in the forums when asked about his present occupation:

    “My present occupation is to assist ALL REAL REPUBLICANS, and REAL CONSERVATIVES, when ever possible.”

    I read that as “unemployed campaign worker”.

  16. Sensei  •  Nov 8, 2009 @6:39 pm

    It could be a troll set by democratic advocates- a strawman, as named by the TVtropes. Somehow I doubt anyone would argue this way except to mock to suggested opinion.

    Do we have any proof of George actually advocating/advertising this page?

    tl;dr: Sounds like a troll, you sure it’s for real?

  17. Patrick  •  Nov 9, 2009 @7:09 am

    I live in the 4th district Sensei, and can assure you the man is running.

    tl;dr: WRONG!

  18. TJIC  •  Nov 9, 2009 @7:19 am

    Next time you’re going to sucker punch me, please aim for my nuts, not my eyes.

    I need my eyes to drive to work…

  19. Robert  •  Nov 9, 2009 @10:07 am

    Does anyone else weep for America when the most prominent support for an entity on that page is for Fox News? Are people really hailing the network that brought us “Obama/Biden – Osama Bin Laden – Coincidence?” as our savior?

  20. Nancy  •  Nov 9, 2009 @12:20 pm

    What I don’t understand is the part about being in the German Army.

    http://www.nimcrown.org/h1.htm

    (That’s not from his site, I found it when I Googled him). Does he think that being a member of the German regular army will bring him votes?

  21. Patrick  •  Nov 9, 2009 @12:32 pm

    Well obviously what we need, in these hard economic times, is a government that’s run with Prussian efficiency Nancy.

  22. Bob  •  Nov 9, 2009 @12:50 pm

    Apparently the State Party Chairman asked him to remove the Republican logos from his website.

    http://georgehutchins.activeboard.com/index.spark?aBID=132939&p=3&topicID=31387218

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