Poor Mr. X.  I feel for your family and friends.  I don't know much about you or them, but I'm sure I'll meet a number of them when your estate files suit against my client.  In the meantime, this is what I do know about you.

You were a fan of Megan Fox.  I'm sure your wife was pleased by that.

You liked to insert a device known as a "bierstick" into your mouth.

You had degrading tastes in soft-core pornography.

You had a prostate condition.

And that's about it.  Your obituary is already behind a firewall, so as far as the internet is concerned your tombstone is shaped like a beer-injecting plastic penis.  Long may it stand.

As for the rest of you, I know your mother told you always to wear clean underwear, in case you were in an accident.  But are you wearing a clean Facebook page?

Last 5 posts by Patrick Non-White

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