Handcuffed Grandmothers Should Just Shut Up and Think of the Children

Politics & Current Events

Our culture has several airhorn issues.

An “airhorn issue” is an issue that people in authority — or their apologists — invoke to shut down debate and avoid uncomfortable questions about whether the Emperor has any clothes. Like an airhorn blown in somebody’s face, they are not calculated to contribute to intelligent or meaningful discussion. Rather, an airhorn issue is a shock-and-awe conversational move, meant to shock and silence, meant to be self-justifying and self-perpetuating. It’s calculated to be a trump card, and too often we accept it as such.

“OMG 9/11!” is a popular airhorn issue, as is its spin-off “the Great War on Terrorism.” But the great granddaddy of all airhorn issues is “oh, won’t someone think of the CHILDREN!”, especially when combined with the ever-popular “OMG drugs EVERYBODY PANIC!”

Radley Balko picks up on an airhorn issue being used against Indiana grandmother Sally Harpold:

“I feel for her, but if she could go to one of the area hospitals and see a baby born to a meth-addicted mother …”

That line, uttered by Vigo County Sheriff Jon Marvel, is the classic airhorn issue, calculated to make Sally Harpold and anyone supporting her to feel bad for questioning the decisions of people like Vigo County Sheriff Jon Marvel. How can you dwell on such unimportant things when poor little meth babies are dying? What is wrong with you that you don’t think of the chiiiiiillllldruuuuuunnnn?

What comparative trifle was Harpold speaking out about? Well, she was arrested, handcuffed, taken to jail, and identified in a paper as a drug offender because she bought two boxes of cold medication within a week.

Harpold is a grandmother of triplets who bought one box of Zyrtec-D cold medicine for her husband at a Rockville pharmacy. Less than seven days later, she bought a box of Mucinex-D cold medicine for her adult daughter at a Clinton pharmacy, thereby purchasing 3.6 grams total of pseudoephedrine in a week’s time.

That was against the law. See, Indiana, like many states, is in the long, expensive, painful, and drawn-out process of getting its ass handed to it in the Great War on Drugs. Faced with the fact that drug dealers were making a popular and destructive drug — methamphetamine — using legal over-the-counter medications, Indiana stepped up its treatment programs, invested more in street-level intelligence gathering, and embarked on a courageous reevaluation of the entire criminalization/prohibition modality.

No, I’m just shitting you. They made it illegal for citizens to buy more than one box of legal cold medication over the counter per week.

Those two purchases put her in violation of Indiana law 35-48-4-14.7, which restricts the sale of ephedrine and pseudoephedrine, or PSE, products to no more than 3.0 grams within any seven-day period.

Harpold, whose family persisted in getting sniffles without giving any thought at all to the dangers they presented to meth babies, broke that law. She broke it because she did not pay sufficient attention to the burden that the legislature and law enforcement officials had elected to place upon her — to monitor the frequency of her purchase of legal over-the-counter products and to calculate the amount of methamphetamine precursors contained therein.

It is up to customers to pay attention to their purchase amounts, and to check medication labels, [prosecutor Nina] Alexander said.

“If you take these products, you ought to know what’s in them,” she said.

The legislature — and government officials like Nina Alexander and Jon Marvel — have no problem with imposing such burdens on you, because (1) it allows them to create the impression that they are DOING SOMETHING ABOUT DRUGS and THINKING OF THE CHILDREN, and (2) it grows their fiefdoms, and (3) as a citizen, your job is to suck it up and accept such burdens.

As a result, Sally Harpold got awakened by police banging on her door one morning, handcuffed, arrested, and taken to jail for buying two boxes of cold medication within seven days. Nobody claims that she is involved with the manufacture of methamphetamine. Of course, that didn’t stop the newspaper — which is to drug hysteria what a pimp is to a whore — from suggesting that she is involved in drugs:

Her police mug shot ran on the front page of her local newspaper, she wrote, in a letter to the Tribune-Star, “with an article entitled, ‘17 Arrested in Drug Sweep.’”

The arrest and public branding are ridiculous. The arrest and public branding are offensive. The arrest and public branding ought to enrage a free people. What sort of reactions did it draw from our leaders?

“The law does not make this distinction, [between people with, and without, intent to aid drug manufacture]” Alexander said.

“I’m simply enforcing the law as it was written,” Alexander said.

“Sometimes mistakes happen,” Marvel said. “It’s unfortunate. But for the good of everyone, the law was put into effect”.

And, of course, the airhorn again:

“I feel for her, but if she could go to one of the area hospitals and see a baby born to a meth-addicted mother …”

Shut up, Sally Harpold and her supporters. Shut up, or it means you hate poor little meth babies. Shut up, or it means you are in favor of people destroying their lives with methamphetamine. Shut up, and don’t question government officials when they come up with increasingly arbitrary, hare-brained schemes calculated to make them look like they are doing something. Shut up, and love the little children.

Last 5 posts by Ken

23 Comments

20 Comments

  1. Grandy  •  Sep 28, 2009 @10:10 am

    If I were to stop taking Zyrtec tomorrow (I typically just take vanilla Zyrtec, not D, but I’ve been having such bad itchy eye issues of late I’m thinking of trying D or the drops), I’d probably start breaking out in awful hives in a couple of days. I started having Hive issues in 05-06 and a doctor recommended Zyrtec, then a prescription med. It is, unquestionably, the best allergy medicine I have ever taken (Tavist was the previous king, but a perscription med called (sp?) Seldane was pretty darn good). It killed my hives issue dead but they cropped up now and again when I couldn’t get a refill quickly enough, or just didn’t take the medication for a couple of days.

    A lot of people can’t appreciate the misery I (and countless others) go through. I tend to have seasonal allergy swings but I have issues year round. We moved down south in 1983 (Virginia to Georgia) and I was a train wreck at the tender age of 8. I was heavily picked on due to my always-running nose, and my parents elected to have my adenoids removed in 4th grade because things were so bad (this helped, but I was still struggling all the time until the alergy med breakthroughs really started to kick in).

    People who fuck with my ability to function piss me off, and allergy medicine is a big component of that. It infuriates me when we do stupid things like fight an impossible war and then let bureaucracy rule in the name of that conflict. But this is where I society is right now.

  2. TomH  •  Sep 28, 2009 @11:34 am

    “I was just following the orders of my superior officers” Alexander (seems to have) said.

  3. Cyn  •  Sep 28, 2009 @11:45 am

    Just another example of complete ignorance in the law. This is a ridiculous waste of man hours, & while the cops are wasting their time on grandma, rapists & robbers have having a hooting good time, laughing all the way. 2 boxes would not make much meth per my clients. What a joke. (And a shame to put this woman & her family through the cost, the embarassment, the worry, just the entire hassle.) She can probably beat the rap but she didn’t beat the ride!

  4. silvermine  •  Sep 28, 2009 @1:06 pm

    Excellent post!

  5. Bruce  •  Sep 28, 2009 @1:51 pm

    As well as the air horn this one belongs on the counterpoint list to “obviously law enforcement officers will use their discretion and prosecute based on the intent of this law and not the pathetic wording”. Although I think I need a shorthand term for that.

    The word airhorn exactly conjures up visions of Bender in The Devil’s Hands.

  6. Matt Raft  •  Sep 28, 2009 @9:51 pm

    I seem to recall something about “mens rea” back in law school. Doesn’t the D.A. have to prove the grandma intended to violate the law or use the drugs to create meth? If so, isn’t this case a complete waste of taxpayer time and money, assuming that Grandma isn’t using the Zyrtec-D/Sudafed to make meth?

    To be effective, the state should regulate drugstores and drugstore suppliers if it wants to stop meth labs from using over the counter drugs. Forcing individuals to measure their own pseudoephedrine or Sudafed buying habits doesn’t make much sense.

  7. Linus  •  Sep 28, 2009 @10:29 pm

    Of course it’s a complete waste, Matt. But that’s not the point. The point is that proving intent to get a conviction is HARD. Better to have strict liability crimes so that cops and prosecutors will have easy pickings any time they need to take a hit of that “righteousness” juice.

    In case it wasn’t clear, these pukes make me sick. “If only she could see a baby in the hospital…” What? She’d realize that that baby has NOT A DAMN THING to do with an old lady buying too much cold medicine on accident?

    Pukes.

  8. astonied  •  Sep 28, 2009 @11:03 pm

    Start passing out the asshats! Oh, is there a limit of one per week?

  9. Jay  •  Sep 29, 2009 @1:56 am

    wow. It make’s me seriously wonder how something like this can happen without any admission that the law is faulty. It would be great to see Sally file a character defamation suit against the police and the newspapers – of course that will never happen.

  10. silvermine  •  Sep 29, 2009 @11:04 am

    And people wonder why I’m losing my mind over the CPSIA (the new law about lead in kid’s stuff, where “kid” = 12 and under and “stuff” = anything they touch. Like the inside of pens, and ATVs.)

    Just wait until a state AG or the feds need to look tough on lead — some grandma with a yard sale or a diaper-making business on ebay is going to end up with a $100,000 fine and 5 years in prison for a felony.

  11. dilettante  •  Sep 29, 2009 @4:23 pm

    “Sometimes mistakes happen,” Marvel said. “It’s unfortunate. But for the good of everyone, the law was put into effect”.

    Well, except for those filthy scumbags who have allergies and asthma. And for the rotten little brats with allergies and asthma. Society’s better off without their sniffly snot-nosed wheezy asses around.

    Geez. I don’t think I’d have survived my childhood without pseudoephedrine.

  12. Will  •  Oct 3, 2009 @1:33 pm

    Shouldn’t the drug store be prosecuted as well? They knowingly supplied her with the drugs. What about the kingpin drug companies? Shouldn’t the prosecutor go after the manufacturer of Zyrtec-D? Oh, right. Corporations are never, ever liable in the US.

  13. Ken  •  Oct 3, 2009 @2:14 pm

    Will, drugstores have lobbyists. Grandmothers don’t.

  14. Chris  •  Oct 3, 2009 @7:11 pm

    Grandmothers don’t have lobbyists? What’s the AARP?

  15. ekf  •  Oct 5, 2009 @6:04 pm

    As to the mens rea comment above, it sounds like the law was written so as to confer strict liability — i.e., the purchase of the cold medicine is the crime, not the intent to manufacture illegal drugs with the PSE contained in the cold medicine. Totally batshit, but it’s also par for the course with respect to the drug war, where they strip out mens rea requirements to make it easier to prosecute people possessing related or precursor products (e.g., things like pipes and rolling papers sold by head shops) with the “aw, come on” attitude that all paraphernalia related to illegal drugs is considered evidence of drug use. With PSE-containing cold medicines — and with other meth-oriented products like lye — there are other, legal, commercial uses that don’t have the slightest thing to do with meth production, and so there ought to be more of an intent requirement. However, as is so perfectly pointed out, an intent requirement wouldn’t so intrusively and abusively THINK OF THE CHILDRUNNNNNN. It’s some fucked up stuff, and a mens rea requirement would be useful — alas, it’s not to be had here.

  16. Howard E. Morseburg  •  Oct 10, 2009 @9:50 pm

    I’m 84, and an individual who has kept up with the laws, politics and such, for a lifetime or two. I’ve wondered for months why I have a bottle of Mucinex in the drawer by my bed, what it was for, etc. Now, to say the least, if I lived in a state that had a prohibition against two purchases within a 7 day period, that’s one law I’d not know about. Since my ladyfriend often buys such medications for me, as I’m a handicap, and were she to buy a bottle for herself too at the same time, or a few days later, she’d end up in jail, the both of us ignorant of the law and the contents of the medication.

    While I do understand the intent of the law, it seems to me to be a law that can trap too many innocent people for innocently violating a law. Friends often tell others about something that helped end a cold or cure an allergy, without anyone knowing the full (or any of) the contents of the pills or capsules. Hell, I’m not a druggist. Like most of us, if it says it cures allergies and it is made by a major drug manufacturer, I’d buy it, like too many of us do, and never read the contents. Why? Because I am not a pharmacist and would not understand what I was reading anyway.

    And, I consider myself just a tad bit smarter and more up-to-date than many. Sheriff, you Marvel, take note. And Alexander (the Greatess), take note. Ever try to read the contents on a bottle, print about 4 pts. if not smaller? With aged eyes? Come on, gal.

    Triplets in the family do not make this woman innocent, nor do meth babies in the hospital make her guilty. But for most of us who do not know the ingredients used in meth, nor how to mix it, we could run afoul of that law at any time.

  17. Howard E. Morseburg  •  Oct 10, 2009 @9:57 pm

    Oh, the Mucinex in my drawer; it was given to me by a doctor to clear up a particular problem, but proved unnecessary. I’ll read the label to check it out, but once again, I won’t understand the ingredients, nor do I have the formula for making meth.

  18. Druk  •  Oct 29, 2009 @5:45 pm

    Unfortunately, most people wouldn’t back the grandma up if she were to have lethally defended her home against intruders after she broke this law — as long as the intruders wore the right clothing and shiny badges.

  19. milleronic  •  Oct 29, 2009 @7:22 pm

    The answer to all of this (tragic) bulls$#!t is simple: END PROHIBITION. Legalize and regulate and tax EVERYTHING. The more potent (and addicting) the drug, the more regulated and taxed it should be. Then we could all afford to have free healthcare so grandma could get as much cold medicine as she needs for her family, and no one would go bankrupt from health costs. And we could have fewer corrupt officials making their money honestly instead of shaking down illegal drug dealers for payoffs. And the occasional joint smoker or weekend cokehead wouldn’t have a damn thing to worry about. We would all be freer, happier, and healthier. I don’t care about anyone’s moral issues on this, because this is about …”Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness”… If you don’t like it, don’t buy legal drugs. We are living under PROHIBITION. Plain and simple. Wake UP, PEOPLE!!!

  20. Ryan Bowlin  •  Jan 1, 2010 @4:13 pm

    How did the law find out she bought two boxes they where bought at different stores.Is it not against the law to give out info of what people buy.

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