Want to Complain About a Cop? Better Bring Your I.D. — And Maybe A Toothbrush

Sep 15, 2009

By Ken.

My earlier post about Josh Wexler’s run-in with a cop — and the consequences of filing a complaint against a cop — reminded me of an old news story from 2006.

An undercover team from a CBS affiliate in Miami went to various police stations, asked for a complaint form, and secretly videotaped the results. Sometimes they got the form without a problem. Sometimes the department had no form, and no clear process to make a complaint. But other times, the reaction illustrated the sense of entitlement and hubris that some people in authority carry around with them.

Some of the most choice exchanges after the jump.

Here’s a cop who merely acts like an asshole:

Miami-Dade PD Midwest Station
tester: Yeah, I’m trying to find out how to file a complaint against an officer.
officer: What station does he work at?
tester: I’m not saying he works at this facility. I’m trying to file –
officer: My question is where does he work at? He works here at this district? Just try to answer my question. I think you think this is a big conspiracy.
tester: I want to find out how you file a complaint. That’s what I’m asking.
officer: If you think you can walk in here and go straight to the director of Metro Dade Police without telling me any details, you can’t do it. And I — for some reason, you think that, I don’t know why. You think it’s a big conspiracy, that we’re going to hide some information about what happened to you, I don’t know. Is it a traffic ticket? Is it something, you know, (?) complaint. That he stole your lunch money, did he steal your money, did he have sex with your wife, what?)

But some cops demanded that the testers identify themselves, and threatened to ticket them:

(Sea Ranch PD)
cop: We don’t give you — we don’t give you a form. Where do you live?
tester: I don’t want to say.
officer: You don’t want to say?
tester: Where are you going?
officer: You want to play hardball? We’ll play hardball. I want ID.
tester: For what?
officer: I’m asking you for ID right now, that’s why. Here, hand it to me. Hand it to me.
tester: Are you kidding me? Here.
officer: I said, hand me your ID. What are you doing here? This is –
tester: I came to ask you how to file a complaint.
officer: This is very suspicious.
tester: Asking how to file a complaint is suspicious?
officer: Why don’t you shut up?
officer: I say this is very suspicious, that you pull in here at this time of night –
tester: Eight o’clock?
officer: You’re constantly butting in.
tester: I’m constantly butting in?
Mike: Sir, I would like to leave.
officer: I would love it, but he’s got your driver’s license, so you’re just going to have to stay.
Mike: Sir, are you detaining us?
officer: Okay, could I give you a ticket right now for improper backing.
Mike: You can do whatever you want, I suppose.
officer: Okay, that means yes, I guess you’re saying, right? ANd for backing up, correct, yes?
Mike: I was backing up, sir, because I was leaving.
officer: But because I’m a nice guy, okay, I’m going to give you a warning. Is that fair?
Mike: Yes, sir.
officer: Okay.

Other threats are more extreme or overt:

(Lauderhill P.D.)
tester: Yeah, I wanted to find out how to file a complaint against an officer. I just want to find out how you do it. Do you guys have a form or something that I could take with me.
officer: Well, you got to tell me first, and then I got to hear what’s going on. You’ve got to tell me what the complaint is.
tester: Do you have a complaint form that I can, like, fill out or something like that?
officer: Might not be a legitimate complaint.
tester: Who decides that?
officer: I’m trying to help you.
tester: Like, if there’s a form, why can’t I just take it and leave, right?
officer: No, you don’t leave with forms. You tell me what happened, and then I help you from there. Do you have I-D on?
tester: Why?
officer: You know what? You need to leave.
tester: Why?
officer: I’m going to tell you one more time, because I can’t do this anymore with you, okay. You’re refusing to tell me what you want to do, okay. You’re refusing to tell me who’s involved, where it happened, what transpired. You’e not cooperating iwth me one bit.
tester: I was just asking if you guys have a complaint form, like if there’s some way for me –
officer: Out of my way.
tester: To contact Internal Affairs.
officer: You can do whatever the hell you want. It’s a free country.
man: You’re cursing at me.
officer: Where do you live? Where do you live? You have to tell me where you live, what your name is, or anything like that.
tester: For a complaint? I mean, like, if I have –
officer: Are you on medications?
tester: Why would you ask me something like that?
officer: Because you’re not answering any of my questions.
tester: Am I on medications?
officer: I asked you. It’s a free country. I can ask you that.
tester: Okay, you’re right.
officer: So you’re not going to tell me who you are, you’re not going to tell me what the problem is.You’re not going to identify yourself.
tester: All I asked you was, like, how do I contact –
officer: You said you have a complaint. You say my officers are acting in an inappropriate manner.
officer: So leave now. Leave now. Leave now.
tester: I’m not doing anything wrong.
officer: Neither am I. It’s a free country.
officer: I’m not in your face. I’m standing on the sidewalk. It’s a free country. One more step forward, and you’ll see what happens. Take one more step forward.)

You’re free to assume — as unqualified supporters of cop culture tend to — that these are outliers and extreme cases and incongruities and that in most cases cops are perfectly professional when you try to file a complaint. With that level of credulity, you’ll probably wind up as one of my clients.

I’m grateful to cops, as a group. They do a frequently awful job under frequently abysmal conditions. That job is necessary to our safety. They deserve thanks for that — as do many other groups in our society. But I fall off the “hero” bus when people suggest that I owe individual cops respect no matter how they behave, and that I owe cops an obligation to look the other way when they ignore the rule of law, and that we ought to cut cops a break when they act like bullies any more than we would cut a break to a thug in an alley. Granted, the OMGWTF9/11!!! cops-are-always-right sentiment has died down just a bit, but it’s still a strong undercurrent. It’s a sick sentiment, a sentiment for dogs to feel about their masters, not a sentiment suitable for residents of a free country.

The only acceptable response to “I’d like to make a complaint” is “Yes, sir. Here’s the web site, here’s the phone number, and here’s the form.”

However, in the spirit of compromise, I’ve devised a complaint form that all of the police departments should find acceptable:

OFFICIAL COMPLAINT FORM

Name:
Address:
Phone Number:
Cell Phone Number:
Spouse’s Name:
Name and Age of Children:
You love your children, don’t you?: Yes/No

Occupation:
Business Address:
Business Phone:
Supervisor:
Supervisor’s Supervisor, or other official in your company who would like to hear that you enjoy shitting over good honest cops who are the thin blue line between you and the dregs of humanity:

What officer are you complaining about?

What do you claim happened?

Do you really think, in the post-9/11 world, that there is any chance of any jury believing that or giving a shit about it if they do?

Just out of curiosity, where would you least like to be beaten with a nightstick and/or kicked vigorously with a boot: rank from most to least favored: __Groin __Face/Eyes __Knees __Hands __Temple __Kidney (Right or Left)

If, for legitimate law enforcement purposes, it became necessary to attach a car battery to your genitals, is there any particular brand of gel and/or shaving agent that would give you an unpleasant skin rash if applied during the prep phase?

Last 5 posts by Ken

In Which I Indulge In The Very Appalling Elitist Liberal Sneering That is Destroying America - August 27th, 2010
Was That Wrong? Should We Not Have Done That? - August 27th, 2010
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11 Comments

Cops

10 Comments

Jag • Sep 15, 2009 @1:14 pm

I actually have a few friends who are SoFla cops. They are such good guys, it’s too bad they work with such a group of pricks.

Anyone interested in cops behaving badly against photographers should check out Carlos Miller’s Blog, Photography Is Not A Crime. He’s got some great stories, including his own.

http://carlosmiller.com/
pegr • Sep 16, 2009 @8:55 am

All cops are crooked. There is no such thing as a good cop.

Don’t agree? Then why do “good cops” work with, cover for, accept and support, all the bad cops? That makes them bad! They are all bad!

If you’re really in trouble and need help, call a fireman. They actually want to help you.
Ken • Sep 16, 2009 @9:09 am

I don’t think that’s fair, pegr. Certainly some cops who do not themselves commit fraud or break the law are blameworthy for covering for cops who do. But do all cops share blame simply for being cops? If that is the standard, than all citizens probably share blame for various misdeeds of society. I’m not sure it’s a meaningful standard. I’m concerned with the cops who specifically lie and condone lying.
lee • Sep 17, 2009 @6:22 am

All cops watch their co-workers break the law. They have sworn to uphold the law. They ALL cover for their friends. ”But my friends are all such niiiice guuuys”. yeah right. The ”nice ” ones are scared little mice. My dad was a fair cop who WOULD report things. He ended up in a world of shit at the job.
Legally UnBound • Sep 17, 2009 @10:31 am

I think Lee makes a very good point. That may be what pegr was trying to say, although less eloqeuntly. Although, I don’t know how much I trust firemen either. The important point is made in the article, cops deserve respect as a group, but individually they are allowed to be judged by their actions. It is when the individual cops take the group power and abuse it, which seems to be happening more and more (or it has always happened, we can just record it now).

I know a ton of cops, like most attorneys. Some are nice guys, some are always assholes. However, the ‘nice guys’ are so deeply entrenched in their ‘cop culture’ that they have a really hard time looking at the world the way the rest of us do. Even the ‘nice guys’ are too right/wrong, black/white and as a result they expect complete dominance in any conversation. Of course, this is just the tendencies and not all inclusive. The problem is that even the ‘nice guys’ are polluted and will likely fall prey to act in kind with their examples. Like Lee says, if you stand up or “report things” as a cop, you’ll likely end up “in a world of shit at the job.” That does not promote just enforcement of the law.
Stalker • Sep 18, 2009 @3:50 am

So where exactly was this imaginary “jump” that came before the article? Don’t be fucking retarded.
Patrick • Sep 18, 2009 @4:16 am

The article, as formatted on our webpage, contains a page break to conserve space. A user may click on a link “continue to read more” to access the remaining portion of the article. That is what is known as a “jump.”

You fool.
Dennis • Sep 18, 2009 @6:51 am

If you think of the cops as a gang, you won’t be too far off. They are relatively well behaved as a gang – not as well as the Boy Scouts but better than the Crips. They are our gang, and they are necessary for our protection. But they are a gang, nonetheless.

Gang loyalty comes first, then loyalty to the rest of society. They take care of their own. Those that don’t are in for a world of crap.

A certain amount of “gang mentality” is necessary for survival. There needs to be unit cohesion. Someone needs to watch Officer Crupkie’s back. But it still taints all officers. Every officer who knows of corruption and abuse of power, and who does not fight it, is corrupt himself. Eventually, the entire force becomes corrupt.

Just remember they’re a gang.
Legally UnBound • Sep 18, 2009 @8:44 am

I was watching ‘Police Women” last night. That show really gets me going, not becuase of the police women, because of how dumb the accused are and how much the police lie to them. They try to be their friend, they tell them lies, they threaten them, then, the police officers complain that they are being lied to. The police really think that everyone should tell them the truth. I think they believe their own crap. They told this one guy, who had not drugs on him because he had smoked it, “just tell us the truth and everything will be OK, we just want the truth”. So he told them he had just bought crack and smoked it. They arrested him. Then they had the balls to say, “you see, you tell us the truth and everything just goes easy, this could have been a lot worse.” What? would they have beat his ass, too, he got arrested for telling the truth and they had dick without a confession.

Then in a shot after the arrest the police woman had the nuts to say, “we protect and serve, no matter what it is, its our job to serve the public to the best of our ability.”

I know police our extremely important, but common on, they create a lot of the problems, too.

Try asking a cop a question the next time you get pulled over. You’ll be asked to get out of the car and they’ll search you. The probable cause is you questioning of authority.
learnyourrights • Oct 27, 2009 @8:58 pm

I had a violent run in with the police when i was almost 18 @ 117lbs then. I’d done nothing illegal but state my rights and deny them permission to search me and my belongings. Lying they said they saw me hide something. They purposefully cuffed me wrong so they could whoop! my butt when they fell off!! I was detained in a cruiser while they moved all other cruisers to the front of their barrage (relocating the Cameras off of My relocation) when they finally moved me the large cuff finally slipped off and my friends (who’s father was a cop, and a girl I’d just met-lol) watched as they bounced my head like a basket ball, off the asphalt- and blood sprayed all the way onto the detainees in the vehicle! Then proceeded to stand on my arms and knees and hair. The one on my arm pulled on the attached cuff till my arm swelled in bruises. When I lifted my head in response to “I’m not on your hair! LOL hahahah!” I was maced in each eye- even tho 4 officers had already pinned me. I remember little but the ‘crazy chair’ now, being choked, deceived, laughed at, ignored.
LOL, it’s messed up but I tried to file a complaint in a way, really I was trying to get pictures of my injuries.
The lieutenant told me “You didn’t run S— here! lol!” The jail Dr. denied anything was wrong with me but made record of the busted lip but ignored all swelling and bruising. My layer had to sneak a camera phone in to finally get pictures and by then considerable healing had occurred. I couldn’t fund my defense sadly I was incarcerated for “swinging on an officers head after pretending to be cuffed!” and “resisting” among other things. Four long months.
Later the same criminal officers SHOT and KILLED a YOUNG MAN! And have since been relieved of duty. If only anyone would have listened to me then. It’s just to stupid to be okay! Ignorance is destruction!! And I’m not gonna take this s— anymore!