It's time for the Road to Popehat, the feature in which we check out the traffic logs, look at what searches brought you here, and write our members of Congress to make sure the public option includes good mental health coverage. The following searches have brought wanderers to our shores in the last month:

eye gouging methods: Feel free to use any approach you like, so long as it is not government-subsidized.

why i want to be a model: Honey, if you don't know, Google ain't gonna tell you.

trauma bunny: That would be an awesome name for a comic strip character.

Van Nuys whores: Van Nuys is a working-class neighborhood in the San Fernando Valley. The person searching for whores in Van Nuys was using AOL search at 9:30 on a Tuesday morning. This is why our economy is in the toilet.

we are human looking for human rights in iran with out islamic molas: Twitter: instrumental to getting the revolutionary message out during the Iranian uprising of '09. The Google searchbar: somewhat less so.

peta 497 people came here searching for "peta". What the hell?

mad nude party: This person left bitterly disappointed.

erotic Also this person. Seriously, how many pages of search results for that query did they have to go through to get us?

condescending middle aged men Someday, as God is my witness, we will be the FIRST result for that.

Last 5 posts by Ken

• Anatomy Of A Scam Investigation, Chapter Ten - February 5th, 2012
• Marc Stephens Threatens Me Some More - February 3rd, 2012
• Now I Belong To The Ages - January 31st, 2012
• The Road to Popehat: The Oracle At Popehat Edition - January 27th, 2012
• Step Right Up For The Thursday Censorious Asshat Roundup - January 26th, 2012