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The Peril of Being Able To Do Whatever You Think Of

May 21, 2009
By .
Politics & Current Events

Every day, most of us have stray thoughts like "hey, wouldn't it be great if . . ." and "I wonder what would happen if I could . . .", followed by some flight of fancy, some product of random synapses firing, half-remembered pizza dreams, and general pathology.

That's as far as it goes for most of us. There are few Ludwigs the Mad or Howard Hugheses among us to turn those thoughts into fantastical castles or giant wooden airplanes.

There is, however, one class of people empowered to turn any damn thing that enters their head into reality, no matter how odd the idea, questionable the circumstances that generated it, or deranged the underlying "logic." And we all have to live with the results.

That class of people is, of course, Congress.

Rep. Alan Grayson was standing in the middle of Disney World when it hit him: What Americans really need is a week of paid vacation.

So on Thursday, the Florida Democrat will introduce the Paid Vacation Act — legislation that would be the first to make paid vacation time a requirement under federal law.

. . . .

“There’s a reason why Disney World is the happiest place on Earth: The people who go there are on vacation,” said Grayson, a freshman who counts Orlando as part of his home district. “Honestly, as much as I appreciate this job and as much as I enjoy it, the best days of my life are and always have been the days I’m on vacation.”

I know, from experience, that children experiencing the wonder that is Disney World do not dwell on the efforts their parents made to get them there. They have only the most dim comprehension that they parents work to get money and exchange that money for goods and services like Disney tickets or, if they are not that well-off, kidneys.

Grayson and his ilk exist on a similar plane of childlike wonder. Where does the money to pay for paid vacations come from? Who knows, and who cares? It's probably Scrooge McDuck's vault, or maybe it streams from the tip of Sorcerer's Apprentice Mickey's wand. Just make the businesses do it. Employees can't be expected to bargain for it; they, too, are tired, sticky children in the eyes of Congress. Just order it by fiat, and like magic, America will be the Happiest Place on Earth.

Last 5 posts by Ken White

4 Comments
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4 Comments

  1. Mike  •  May 21, 2009 @10:54 am

    When I read your first sentences, I thought you were going to discuss celebrities and the paradox of hedonism. I call it "little Nero syndrome." What happens when you have the money to do whatever you like; and no one will stop you.

    The twist of your post was thus very interesting. What happens…. Indeed!

  2. Linus  •  May 21, 2009 @6:39 pm

    This type of legislation has a more pernicious effect: it makes satire more difficult. When someone seriously proposes making paid vacations mandatory, because they make people happy, can puppies and unicorns retain their sting?

    His comments do make me think of Homer: "Ooooh, look at me Marge, I'm making people Happy! I'm the magical man, from Happy Land, who lives in a gumdrop house on Lolly Pop Lane!!!!…… By the way I was being sarcastic…”

  3. EJ  •  May 26, 2009 @8:08 pm

    Could you explain in a little more detail why mandatory paid time off, something that exists in every other industrialized country besides the United States, can be simply assumed to be a symptom of dreamy utopianism?

    Hell, even Hong Kong, consistently ranked as the world's #1 Freest Economy by the Heritage Foundation, mandates 7 paid days off per year, as does #2 ranked Singapore.

    I'm not saying the proposal isn't debatable, but the mockery seems a bit misplaced.

  4. Ken  •  May 27, 2009 @7:38 am

    EJ, the mockery is of the hubris involved in a legislator deciding to advance agendas that will have massive economic impacts — in the middle of a recession — based on Disney epiphanies.

    Other nations have mandatory time off. Those countries pay for it — the companies pay out of their own pockets, and the countries pay through reduced growth. This guy seems to think that it's magic.