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The Beginning of the End.

May 13, 2009
By .
WTF?

This is it. This is how it all goes down. We are tampering with forces beyond the mortal ken, and it is rife with chances to go tragically awry. The endtimes are heralded by scientists decision to turn fire ants into zombies. My friends, I cannot emphasize this enough: this is a terrible idea. Have none of these people ever read a book or seen a movie. All we need is for one of the scientists to actually say the words "what could possibly go wrong."

As an aside, the idea that the larval stage of these creatures eats the brain, and yet the ant keeps wandering for a couple of weeks is fascinating and horrifying.

Last 5 posts by Ezra

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2 Comments

  1. matt  •  May 13, 2009 @11:10 am

    from what i understand the fire ants are not natural animals in Texas
    so i can kinda understand taking efforts to control them but i do agree that adding another non-native species can be just as dangerous to the ecology (plus that's just a gruesome way to die)

  2. Mark  •  May 13, 2009 @7:01 pm

    I lived in Texas for several years, and I assure you, these ants are fucking hellspawn. They cannot be stopped! You think I exaggerate? I've seen things you can't possibly imagine. Have you ever set up for duck hunting in the dark, only to discover you're laying in a three-foot wide anthill? 217 bites! TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTEEN!

    Even if these megalomaniac scientists don't create an army of enormous, highly-intelligent Super Ants, the fire ant threat in Texas will continue. It's too late for half-measures.

    We must admit that Texas is lost; I propose we construct a wall surrounding the state and save ourselves. Quarantine. In time, perhaps, we will be forgiven.