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The Paternalistic Impulse

Apr 30, 2009
By .
Law Practice

I'm not really a guy who thinks that the women of the world require special protection from hurt feelings, particularly special protection provided by me.

However . . .

The profession of law — and especially civil litigation — has well more than its share of middle-aged men with serious personality deficits that emerge when they deal with female lawyers, especially young female lawyers. Those personality deficits express themselves through bullying, shouting, sneering condescension, sniping, and a wide variety of other unprofessional and unpleasant behavior — all of it focused at young female attorneys with a vigor and emphasis that is highly noticeable even when said middle-aged men are assholes to everyone.

My young female associates can take care of themselves. They are smart and competent. They are adults.

However . . .

My name is on the door. It got there because I am, all humility aside, pretty good at what I do. Within my skill-set is the ability to humiliate sad-sack personality disordered middle-aged men who work out their inadequacy issues by bullying young female associates. That ability includes humiliating said sad-sacks on paper, humiliating them in front of clients, and humiliating them in front of judges, as well as making litigation as miserable and stomach-twisting experience for them. I have the ability to convey to opposing clients that they are going to get an less desirable settlement or result than they otherwise would because they chose a douchebag for a lawyer. I have the ability to do all of that without getting sanctioned, within the bounds of the law.

Women are not tender flowers needing special protection from meanies. I do not view my young female associates as inferior to young male associates in any way.

However . . .

There are limits to my enlightenment. If you make one of them cry, I am going to make you pay. Count on it.

Last 5 posts by Ken

8 Comments
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8 Comments

  1. Mike  •  Apr 30, 2009 @11:11 am

    My wife is a high-powered patent lawyers. Fucks are always condescending to her – or assuming she's not a lawyer. Even outside of the law, people try to pull stunts on her due to her small size. Sometimes this has hilarious consequences.

    She was doing a u-turn down an empty street when a BMW came speeding down the street. Because of the way her car was angled, only she was visible to the BMW. The BMW would not slow down.

    She started frantically honking. It was pretty clear he could see her. He wouldn't slow down.

    Finally, right as he was about to hit her, he decelerated. He smirked.

    I shot out of the passenger's side. I started screaming. I am not a pleasant sight when angry.

    His eyes got really big. I invited him several times to remove himself from his vehicle so that we could discuss his behavior in more detail. He declined my invitation.

    Unfortunately I couldn't talk to him while he remained in his car. I was thus not able to have a "Now you's can't leave" moment. I at least hope he left a stain in his upholstery.

    Justice: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDb5pX-Dt_I

  2. Transplanted Lawyer  •  Apr 30, 2009 @1:58 pm

    Get him, Ken. No mercy.

  3. Ken  •  Apr 30, 2009 @2:25 pm

    As I said to her, "Nobody does that to our associates. Only we can do that to our associates."

  4. Marc J. Randazza  •  Apr 30, 2009 @4:43 pm

    I have the ability to convey to opposing clients that they are going to get an less desirable settlement or result than they otherwise would because they chose a douchebag for a lawyer.

    That's my favorite.

  5. SB7  •  Apr 30, 2009 @5:05 pm

    Give him hell.

  6. Scott Jacobs  •  Apr 30, 2009 @6:41 pm

    If it is possible, please give detailed examples as to how you go about humiliating them. Pretty please?

    Also, what the hell did this douche do??? I mean, you seem just a little bit upset…

  7. Snickersgal  •  May 4, 2009 @12:09 am

    Not sure why you claim to be extra-protective of women. Is it OK for one of your male junior associates to be treated like dirt? Listen, I'm all for chivalry. I'm also for treating people the same whenever possible / reasonable, regardless of what brand of genitals they happen to possess.

  8. Chris Berez  •  May 6, 2009 @9:40 pm

    The thing is, it's not that you're being "protective" of delicate little flowers, it's that you work in a business that's male-dominated. Your female associates by the nature of their field have to put up with shit that the male associates don't. It's perfectly reasonable, and the mark of a good boss, to strand up for your underlings when they're being harassed; and in the case of female associates who have to face this to a much greater degree, it's even more reasonable.

    Just because women are now considered equal to men in our society, doesn't mean we have to stand by why other men go out of their way to be assholes.

    Anyway, even though I read your post last week, I've been going over and over in my head trying to articulate my response and it took me until now. So yeah, late I know, but whatever.

    I guess my point can be boiled down to: unfair is unfair is unfair, no matter what your sex. Unfairness that disproportionately affects one sex over another in a given field is still unfairness. Standing up for someone in such a situation does not automatically mean you think they can't stand up for yourself: it means you won't tolerate unfairness.