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There Is Only One Irrefutable Rule Of Legal Practice

Apr 10, 2009
By .
Law Practice

The title of my post may surprise you. Surely, you think, there are many irrefutable rules of legal practice. In fact, though there are many rules, but all are secondary to this one, and none so irreducible as this one:

Don't act like an asshole to the law clerks, court clerks, and court reporters.

This is not only a rule of decency, but of prudence and common sense. And yet many lawyers are assholes to these people, because it is in their essential nature to be assholes, particularly to people whom they view as socially inferior or less "important" — which may well be the very pathology that led them to be lawyers in the first place. (The belief that a law clerk, or court clerk, or court reporter is unimportant is one held only by people who don't have a firm grasp of the role they play in the business of the court — and even if they were unimportant, as Dave Barry says, someone who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person.)

Usually the consequences are unpleasant, but not grave — lost filings, lack of cooperation in minor ministerial tasks, unflattering "ums" and "uhs" in a transcript. Occasionally, though, lawyers get in real trouble. Case in point: Louisiana lawyer R. Michael Moity Jr., who has been disbarred from practice before the federal courts of the Western District of Louisiana for a year because of a chain of events that began when he acted like a dick in a phone call with a federal magistrate's law clerk and culminated in him misleading the court about his disciplinary record. News flash: when a federal judge's clerk calls and says the judge wants to know why you weren't at a hearing, the proper response is not to yell at the clerk for not reminding you to come to the hearing.

Perhaps reasonable minds can differ on whether Mr. Moity ("Stop saying 'Mr. Moity'! You said my name about five times, I know my name!") should be so harshly disciplined for his lack of professional decorum. But ask yourself this, if you think he should not be interrupted in his federal practice: would you want to be represented by someone who thinks it is a good idea to blow up at a federal judge's law clerk when she calls on instructions from the judge?

Last 5 posts by Ken

10 Comments
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10 Comments

  1. Transplanted Lawyer  •  Apr 10, 2009 @10:33 am

    Yep, I was taught when I was a newbie attorney that was Rule One is quite simple:

    Never commit contempt of clerk. You can give the judge some static while you're making an argument, the judge generally understands that you have to do that. The clerk, however, is above reproach.

  2. Windypundit  •  Apr 10, 2009 @10:51 am

    I guess this is a legal-specific addition to the rule that you should never be rude to your dentist or the people who prepare your food.

  3. Mark  •  Apr 10, 2009 @11:11 am

    I was taught to go one step further — never act like you know what you're doing with the courtroom staff. If you're a little clueless, they love to help you out.

    Of course, this one is usually easy to follow, because the staff always know courtroom procedures better than the attorneys.

  4. Scott Jacobs  •  Apr 10, 2009 @3:03 pm

    See, I have never understood why anyone acts like that to anyone else, really. I'm nice to cashiers, waiters, delivery people…

    I've found I get an extra egg roll or two from the chinese delivery place because I'm nice. Desert usually comes as a slightly larger-than-normal slice. I even got an employee discount before because the cashier liked me.

    I can only imagine the benefits of having employees of the Court be kindly disposed towards you… Like motions not being lost, the occasional "Sure, I can stick around for 20 minutes while you run over a motion for which today is the deadline", and the like…

    Some people take certain jobs merely so they can have some measure of authority over others… Sadly, it seems that this lawyer was one of those people, and it also seems he forgot that "a clerk" doesn't mean "his clerk", and thus not someone he can treat like crap.

  5. Jag  •  Apr 10, 2009 @3:04 pm

    I never understood lawyers that were rude to court staff.

    I always tell people that asshole lawyers and asshole clients typically find each other the way water always seeks its own level.

  6. Stephen R. Diamond  •  Apr 14, 2009 @11:07 am

    The federal magistrate's clerk is more likely to have thought Attorney Moity unimportant than the reverse.
    I doubt lack of decorum outside the courtroom is a disciplinable offense, even in the Western District of Louisiana. The 5th Circuit failed even to state the rule on which it based discipline, and the District Court partly based disbarment on allegations Moity "impugned the integrity of two federal judges" because Moity briefed that the judges committed misconduct by their ex parte communication. The Fifth Circuit didn't quite buy impugning judicial integrity charge but didn't reverse it.
    See the link for analysis.

  7. Patrick  •  Apr 14, 2009 @11:18 am

    Mr. Diamond, I removed your link because it violated our unwritten policy against links to commercial blogs and websites. I allowed your comment through moderation because I thought your comment substantive.

    I agree that your linked post is also substantive, but it simply ran afoul of a rule which I apply, as is my right, arbitrarily.

  8. Joanne  •  Apr 21, 2009 @1:26 pm

    This is along the same lines as the Rule I've always known: "Don't step on the toes today that are attached to the *ss you might have to kiss tomorrow."

  9. Terry B.  •  May 6, 2009 @11:50 pm

    all of your negative comments to Mr. Moity's alleged inappropriate phone etiquette makes it clear to reasonable individual to conclude that all of you were listening to the conversation as the event transpired. Maybe a tape of the conversation was produced, and then "possibly" sound bytes of the dialogue were arranged to intentionally to place Mr. Moity in negative light. Even if the events occured as describe were accurate(but unlikely) then God forbib someone has a bad day and states something they later regret. It's obvious that the only PERFECT PEOPLE in this World are yourselves. KEEP Judging People because that's the best way to keep the focus off your incompetence. (sorry I meant competence).
    Attorney M. Moity Jr. is one of the few TOP Attorney's in LA. We all Know when your at the top of your game everyone is gunning to take you down.

  10. Transplanted Lawyer  •  May 7, 2009 @7:05 am

    Thanks for your contribution, Mr. Moity.