Last weekend our nation's top movies were "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" and "My Bloody Valentine 3-D." "American Idol" continues to beat the competition in the television ratings. The bestseller list is choked with books that would be beach reading at a resort for functional illiterates. The nation's most popular art needs to be watered periodically.

Whatever is a cultural snob to do? Who will save people who prize quality, subtlety, artistry in their entertainment?

I know — the government!

Yes, via Hit & Run, I see that there have been calls for Obama to create a Ministry of Culture. ("Department of Culture" didn't sound Soviet enough, apparently). Quincy Jones is apparently one of the driving forces behind this proposal:

By yesterday, 76,000 people had signed an online petition, started by two New York musicians who were inspired by producer Quincy Jones. In a radio interview in November, Jones said the country needed a minister of culture, like France, Germany or Finland has. And he said he would "beg" Obama to establish the post.

But Quincy, who gained fame by promoting Michael Jackson, ought to know that things do not always turn out at the end looking the way you thought they would at the beginning. For now, the goals sound both vague and modest:

"We are not quite sure, especially in this environment, what the secretary of the arts could provide, but foremost is advocacy for arts education and awareness of the financial rewards the arts bring to a community," said Weitzner, the host of a chamber music series at the Brooklyn Public Library.

Jones, who has been promoting the idea for at least 10 years by his count, said yesterday that he has specific responsibilities in mind for the office. He wants an education system that teaches the history and personalities of the arts, particularly music. "I have traveled all over the world all the time for 54 years. The people abroad know more about our culture than we do," he said. "A month ago at my high school in Seattle, I asked a student if he knew who Louis Armstrong was. He said he had heard his name. I asked him about Duke Ellington and John Coltrane. He didn't even know their names. That hurts me a lot," Jones said.

So we're talking about another federal agency getting involved in setting curriculum for local schools. Quincy, I hate to break it to you, but you're going to have some really frosty meetings with the folks at the Department of Education over that one. Bureaucrats like their turf. And I seriously doubt local school districts are looking for another set of paperwork to fill out. Plus, there is the question of taste. Quincy Jones happens to have good taste, as far as I am concerned, in liking Armstrong and Ellington and Coltrane. But does he have decent taste in visual art? What if he's a huge fan of Thomas Kinkade?

Now, history shows us that the government has given us some great art. Various popes and kings and princes commissioned some great stuff that enriches us. But that's because popes and kings and princes don't have to stand for public election or listen to committees. In commissioning the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Pope Julius II didn't have to worry that CNN was going to run a story for three news cycles about how Michelangelo had depicted too many people from Florence and not enough from Naples. But the outlook for modern government sponsorship and promotion of art is grim. Culture, as defined by the Ministry of Culture, will be that which is appreciated by the sort of people who would want to work for the Ministry of Culture, the sort of people who want to define culture for others, the sort of people who look forward to committee meetings, and above all, the sort of people who feel that culture is — and should be — political.

So you'll watch Mall Cop, and like it. Be happy, for now, that your cultural choices are not influenced by the sort of people who ran the SEC during Bernie Madoff's Ponzi or ran FEMA during Hurricane Katrina.

Last 5 posts by Ken

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