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Secret Pastries of the Luftwaffe

Dec 17, 2008
By .
WTF?

A lovely couple in New Jersey just wanted to get their son a nice birthday cake with his name on it. Then, those anti-fascist fascists at Shop-Rite wouldn't make the cake because the kids name was Adolf Hitler. Those bastards. I have to say, I am honestly surprised that there is no lawsuit involved here.

The reason they named their son Adolf Hitler is "no one else in the world would have that name." Hmm. By that rationale, their next kid (and I think we can guess they will have several more kids..) should be named Osama Bin Laden, or George W. Bush.

Of course, when Shop-Rite tried to trample on the rights of the not anti-semitic Campbells (for instance, dad says if his son wants to hang out with black kids "that's his choice") a proud defender of free speech arose. I think you can see where this is going, but the next time you need a Happy Birthday Adolf cake, you can head straight to Wal-Mart. That is art meeting satire right there… Just beautiful.

By the way, the Campbells aren't racist at all, but their daughter is named JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, and their other daughter is inscrutably named Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell. Hinler?

Last 5 posts by Ezra

3 Comments
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3 Comments

  1. Ken  •  Dec 17, 2008 @2:55 pm

    As I said elsewhere, I have a fantasy where the kids, against all odds, grow up to be decent human beings. Then one turns out to be gay and one marries a person of color and the other is a Democrat. The dad realizes that he's led a life of pointless, mulleted, wife-beater-wearing hate, and tries to end it with the World War II luger he bought off a guy named 88Heinrich on Craigslist. But it won't fire, because it's actually a cheap fake made in China, and 88Heinrich is actually a guy from the Bronx named Juan to used the money to buy salsa dancing lessons. Heath Campbell leads a life of banal evil and deserves a banal Nuremberg.

  2. Ken  •  Dec 17, 2008 @2:56 pm

    By the way, awesome thread title.

  3. Dave (ND)  •  Dec 18, 2008 @6:59 am

    I wish this story would go away. This guy probably wakes up in the morning just to google his kid's name and the numbers just keep going up.