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In Which I Somehow Injure Only My Ass

Dec 13, 2008
By .
Life

I am a lucky idiot. Today, I had my baptism into a common world for bikers. I got doored. That's when a driver in a parked car doesn't look and opens their door right in front of a bicyclist. It's pretty dangerous, and can lead to some bad injuries. I was very lucky, and am pretty much fine. My bike only needs ~$120 of work (which is much lower than I thought.)

I was riding up a narrow street in Alameda, with a pickup truck following close behind me. I was looking back and forth, but didn't even notice the car of this woman, until the door came out right in front of me. I went over the handlebars, and miraculously landed on my back and my ass. This is amazing, because I had committed a cardinal sin. I didn't wear a helmet.

Every biker has had the thought. I was just riding a few blocks to the burrito place, I'll skip the helmet. In fact, ever since my only other serious back accident (where I was not wearing a helmet, but once again got lucky – although my ankle never healed right..) I have been judicious about wearing a helmet for almost all rides. Lately I had been slipping on short rides on the island. That won't happen again. Always wear a helmet kids.

The scariest part of this whole experience was the sound of the pickup behind me slamming on it's brakes. It was close enough that if I had flown a little shorter distance I could have been run over. I took a second to gather myself, and stood up to try & find my glasses (which had gone about 10 feet ahead of me.) The weird part was I could tell right away that I wasn't seriously injured, and yet it looked to others like I was dead. One lady told me that from the noise and watching me fly through the air she was sure I had been killed.

One sublime bit of humor in all this. As I lay dazed on the ground, a lawyer friend of mine comes running up, asking if I am ok, and saying that he saw everything. The crash happened right outside his house. Luckily, his services were not needed, and the woman is paying for the repairs to my bike. I'm not interested in a pound of flesh, and I don't feel the need to make an example of her. I just want my bike fixed. And for my ass to stop hurting.

Last 5 posts by Ezra

9 Comments
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9 Comments

  1. Patrick  •  Dec 14, 2008 @7:15 am

    I'm glad to hear you're ok, Ezra. Now if someone would only invent an ass helmet.

  2. Ken  •  Dec 14, 2008 @8:06 am

    Ezra, when i look back at your history of injuries whenever you dabble in sport, I have to ask: have you considered that God intends you to stay on the couch?

  3. TJIC  •  Dec 14, 2008 @8:29 pm

    I got doored once. It sucked.

    An Arlington cop yelled at me that it was my own fault – roads are for cars.

    …which was almost as much fun as the time an Arlington DPW truck passed me and then IMMEDIATELY took a right, almost running me over, and then he yelled at me, and a different ARLINGTON cop showed up and yelled at me and told me that the law said that I had to ride on the sidewalk. I asked her what law that was, because I had read the town bylaws, and by my reading they said that it was ILLEGAL to ride on the sidewalk, and that all cyclists must ride in the road.

    !@#%-ing cops.

    They're like loud mouth plumbers. With guns.

    Actually, I take that back.

    Plumbers at least have the socially useful skill of fixing broken toilets.

  4. Eduardo  •  Dec 15, 2008 @10:23 am

    I'm glad you're ok! A cyclist was killed here earlier this year after getting doored. She was thrown into traffic.

    I feel lucky to have only been in 1 bike wreck (where a car was involved, at least). I do avoid them by inches several times a week, but I guess the same can be said for anyone who leaves their home in any fashion.

  5. Ezra  •  Dec 15, 2008 @10:51 am

    I was definitely lucky. The traffic part of it was the scariest part for me, hearing the pickup slam on the brakes and looking up & seeing the grill were not fun moments.

    I also now understand whiplash. I felt pretty good all Saturday, and then could barely move my neck on Sunday. I feel better today, but it was a surprise for sure.

  6. Scott  •  Dec 15, 2008 @11:26 am

    My scariest day of biking happened on a blue moon (second full moon in a calendar month) while I was living in Frisco. Up until that point I had never had as much as a close call, yet on that fateful day I had two very near misses that I was lucky to avoid.

    Now I live in Davis and wear a helmet everywhere. If it isn't bad enough that my two little kids ride me about it, my boss and wife do too. I suppose the helmet head is ok, considering that I still have a head.

  7. PLW  •  Dec 15, 2008 @11:46 am

    "but I guess the same can be said for anyone who leaves their home in any fashion. "

    I don't know about that… when I lived in Cambridge (MA), I walked to work every day and never once feared for my life on the trip. Biking just seems like the most dangerous mode of transport possible. It combines the ability to go fast enough to hurt yourself, together with requiring you to share space with things big enough to squish you, and offering no protection whatsoever.

    I don't know what the everyone's damn hurry is anyway.

  8. Derrick  •  Dec 15, 2008 @12:09 pm

    Critical Mass is still annoying as hell.

  9. Ezra  •  Dec 15, 2008 @12:54 pm

    Actually, motorcycling is the most dangerous. Biking is somewhat dangerous, but more often than not, those dangers are created by motorists not looking, or not caring whether you are there or not. I hate the illegal bikers who want to over the road as much as anybody, and would never be caught at Critical Mass. That being said, I am equally scornful of the drivers who cut me off every day, ignoring my presence. Oh, and the people who don't look before they throw open their doors. Those folks are currently on my shit list.