Haggis gets The Question from her Bambina, and handles it (as I would have anticipated) with grace.

And then it happened. The question I've been dreading, preparing for, anticipating since 2005:

"Mama, why did my Chinese mother not stay with me forever? Did she want to stay with me forever?"

I haven't gotten this precise question, though I've gotten ones uncomfortably close to it. (I would almost rather field explaining Proposition 8 to a 7-year-old, which Katrina had to do last week). There are no easy or genuinely soothing answers, nothing to ward off the sense of hurt and loss that children of adoption feel. We are not magically endowed, as parents or people who have gone through the adoption process, with the ability to answer such questions wisely. All we can offer is honesty, compassion both to the child and her birth parents, and a sense that such questions are not off limits. We can also assure our children — falsely — that their inquiries do not wound us.

Last 5 posts by Ken

• Anatomy Of A Scam Investigation, Chapter Ten - February 5th, 2012
• Marc Stephens Threatens Me Some More - February 3rd, 2012
• Now I Belong To The Ages - January 31st, 2012
• The Road to Popehat: The Oracle At Popehat Edition - January 27th, 2012
• Step Right Up For The Thursday Censorious Asshat Roundup - January 26th, 2012