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"That's So September 10" Is About To Take On A New Meaning

Aug 7, 2008
By .
Science, Technology

Large hadrons will be colliding on a planet near you, this September 10.

CERN has today announced that the first attempt to circulate a beam in the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) will be made on 10 September. This news comes as the cooldown phase of commissioning CERN's new particle accelerator reaches a successful conclusion. Television coverage of the start-up will be made available through Eurovision.

The LHC is the world's most powerful particle accelerator, producing beams seven times more energetic than any previous machine, and around 30 times more intense when it reaches design performance, probably by 2010. Housed in a 27-kilometer tunnel, it relies on technologies that would not have been possible 30 years ago.

The technologies weren't, but the results sure were, using hydrogen bomb technology.  We're all doomed.

More on the efforts of the valiant warriors fighting to save us from particle black hole doom can be found here and here.

Last 5 posts by Patrick

14 Comments
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14 Comments

  1. Ken  •  Aug 7, 2008 @11:41 am

    Is there some sort of support group for people who can't read about this without seeing "large hardon collider"?

  2. Derrick  •  Aug 7, 2008 @12:19 pm

    I'll start one with you.

  3. Sarkus  •  Aug 7, 2008 @12:53 pm

    I find it humorous that this is turning into such a large tinfoil hat issue. After all, John Titor didn't say anything bad would happen.

    :-)

  4. astonied  •  Aug 7, 2008 @7:03 pm

    I was prepared for Y2K. Didn't need toilet paper for 10 months. Does this mean I have to start hoarding?

  5. Ken  •  Aug 8, 2008 @6:38 am

    Derrick, looks like the New York Post can be in our club.

  6. Chris  •  Aug 8, 2008 @7:32 am

    We've played half-life. We know what happens when physicists shoot rays and things. Make sure you have a crowbar handy.

  7. The M  •  Aug 8, 2008 @8:03 am

    Why do I even bother?

  8. Alan  •  Sep 4, 2008 @11:02 am

    I cant understand why they are risking the whole Earth just to see one atom. In my opinion I coulden't care less about this Higgs-Bosem and I dont want to die just so they can try this. They need to be shut down ASAP!

  9. Patrick  •  Sep 4, 2008 @11:12 am

    I blame the Special Executive for Counter-Intelligence, Terror, Revenge, and Extortion.

  10. Holly  •  Sep 9, 2008 @9:46 am

    Chances are that after the accelerator is turned on, the Earth and all its wonders will still be intact. Notwithstanding, I find it incredible that the scientific community would sanction such a "crap throw" as this experiment, or any experiment like it. Suppose they roll the dice and get the double 00 instead of the expected 99% safety margin? None of us—and by "us," I mean the general population of our world—were consulted as to whether this thing should be done! Had a poll been taken, I'm quite sure that most of us would have voted against it. If they want to recreate the Big Bang, why not wait until we can land on Mars and do the experiment there? If Mars were to turn into a black hole, that'd be regrettable, but far better than having it happen to US!

  11. Ken  •  Sep 9, 2008 @9:50 am

    Well, Holly, if we let everybody vote on it, how many scientific and cultural advancements would we have?

    Also, I'm pretty sure a black hole on Mars would wind up being just as bad as a black hole here, just slightly delayed.

  12. Patrick  •  Sep 9, 2008 @10:42 am

    If Mars were to transform into a black hole, that black hole would have the mass of Mars. There would be no change in its gravitational field.

    What people forget is that the LHC does not create matter. It merely rearranges it. Any mini-black holes it does create will have the mass and gravity of elementary particles, which is to say almost none, in the nanoseconds before they snuff themselves out.

  13. PLW  •  Sep 10, 2008 @6:06 am

    Has anyone flipped into non-Being yet? Our European correspondents have been oddly quiet. But the livestream people seem to still be alive. Maybe it's on a loop.

  14. PLW  •  Sep 11, 2008 @6:08 am

    Hmm.. maybe everyone but me is not, after all. Otherwise, I expect they would all be celebrating our near miss right here.