Here's some free legal advice regarding plausible defense strategies:

If you are a well-known "professional wrestler" who "fights" under the name "Rampage Jackson," and you drive a big-ass truck that has your name and picture on it, like so:

Then there is probably not much of a point in fleeing the scene on foot when you run into somebody with the truck.

They're going to figure it out.

Sit down, have a smoke, look up your probation officer's phone number. Maybe call your agent. Just chill.

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