This Explains The Invisible Man. But Does It Mean the Hulk Is Asian?

WTF?

This weekend I alluded to my views on UFOs by mentioning a case in which a reported space-going, citizen-terrorizing, potential-ass-probing vehicle turned to be, if you want to get technical, the moon.

The citizenry's occasional habit of confusing common astronomical, aeronautical, mechanical, meteorological, and barnyard objects for Mulder-agitating phenomena is not particularly frightening. But think of this — what if some dastard combined the nuttiness of UFOlogy with the bottomless potential for hostility, inanity, and convoluted rhetoric found in modern academia, and then further bastardized it with a generous helping of Intelligent Design? PZ Myers warns us to shudder, for it has already happened. Behold, the MUFON lecture series:

So I went. It was a lecture by a Native American named Rainbow Eagle.
. . . .
He said that there were four races originally planted here. Not only that, but these original races were different colours. Native Americans used to be red. Blacks used to be blue. Asians used to be green. And whites used to be… transparent. That’s right. Transparent.

No. I have no idea how he knows this.

Rainbow Eagle presented us with three theories of the origin of humans.

1. Aliens put us here to mine gold for them, until we rebelled. So, they genetically programmed us with loyalty to them so that we’d think of them as gods.
2. Aliens came and helped humans develop technology, so we worshiped them because we thought that that was a very nice thing to do.
3. Evolution.

I have no idea how he came up with 1 and 2, but he said that number 3 was right out.

If Louisiana and Kansas don't require their teachers to explain this to their students, then I just don't believe in honest discourse any more.

Last 5 posts by Ken

2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. David  •  Jul 7, 2008 @9:38 am

    Count me as well among those who played Seven Kingdoms II: The Fryhtan Wars.

  2. Sarkus  •  Jul 7, 2008 @9:06 pm

    Listen to Coast To Coast AM (a late night radio show) sometime. This theory is surprisingly popular.