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Rainbows Make Me Angry! SOOO Angry!

Jul 2, 2008
By .
Gaming

Geeks — including gaming geeks in particular — are not any more or less dysfunctional, on average, than the general populace.

However, as with any group, there is a core subset of uber-geeks who take games very very seriously and get very upset about sequels to their cherished games — sequels which cannot possibly live up to the image of the game said geeks have constructed in their head. Hence when a company like Blizzard announces that it's producing Diablo III, latest in an insanely popular clickfest crpg-lite, many Diablo fans react roughly the way Al-Qaeda would if you published a cartoon in which Muhammad wins a hot dog eating contest.

Hence a furious and interminable argument about the art direction and visual style of the newest Diablo, culminating in a hilariously entitled and irritable online petition to Blizzard complaining that the new game will be just too fucking pretty.

It has a list of demands headed What we want. It also has a list of complaints:

Outside scenarios with vivid colors, beautiful forests with colorful vegetation, shinny and beautiful waterfalls where even rainbows take place.

Oh, won't someone think of the imps?

Last 5 posts by Ken White

6 Comments
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6 Comments

  1. Patrick  •  Jul 2, 2008 @12:14 pm

    What we want:

    - A darker, gothic, cryptic and creepier environment.

    Normal people don't actually look back on high school as the best days of their lives, much less want to play games replicating the experience.

  2. Mike  •  Jul 2, 2008 @12:22 pm

    All Blizzard has to do is give people the ability to activate a gray-scale mode. Or perhaps they should ship a special goth edition of the game with waterproof mascara that will stay on while crying.

  3. tgb  •  Jul 2, 2008 @12:36 pm

    Petitions are always more effective when they feature poor grammar, mis-spellings, and run-on sentences.

  4. Ken  •  Jul 2, 2008 @1:28 pm

    To mollify the discontented, Blizzard announced today that the Necromancer character will be able to cut herself.

  5. Chris  •  Jul 2, 2008 @2:36 pm

    Did these people play the same Diablo 2 I did? I remember brightly-colored pygmies with comically oversized voodoo masks and an entire level full of bipedal cows.

  6. dbt1949  •  Jul 2, 2008 @4:53 pm

    "He's a real nowhere man, living in his nowhere land, Making all his nowhere plans for nobody."