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Only The Best Veal Pens For My Kids

Apr 20, 2008
By .
Life

I just spent a healthy chunk of my vacation watching my kids like a hawk rather than dozing in the sun or reading bad books or drinking on the porch to the extent that I otherwise would, an extent that very probably would have terminated in unconsciousness and might have involved a jug.

So clearly I am not a free-range parent.

However, there's a school of thought that says that helicopter parenting has become the norm rather than the exception, and that we overprotect our kids to their detriment. Are our kids in more danger now — objectively — than we were at their age? I don't have the statistics on that and am, frankly, probably too innumerate to interpret them if I had them. But I think the level of protection we establish should be based on reflection and reason, not mindless fear. In that mood, I was interested to learn about Free Range Kids, created by a writer who recently wrote a provcative article in the New York Sun about letting his nine-year-old ride the subway. The blog has a spot for people to argue one way or the other about parenting styles as well as a place for people to remember the liberties they enjoyed as a kid.

My parents were not reckless. They were cautious. But in the 70s and 80s I had freedom that I would hesitate now to extent to my kids — and I'm not sure if that hesitation is based on reason or media- and culture-driven fear. I walked from my elementary school to home in the first and second grade. It's in the same neighborhood I live in now, along the same street that my son would walk from his school. In fact, his school is about half the distance. But right now I find it difficult even to think about letting him walk home. Are there more bad drivers now? More molesters in vans? Or have social norms simply changes without a rational basis? I'm not sure. But I'm interested in the question, which is why I will follow this blog. I would like for Evan to have the life experience of walking home from school. The pampered little shit.

Via BoingBoing.

Last 5 posts by Ken

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5 Comments

  1. Brian  •  Apr 20, 2008 @6:43 am

    When growing up – even before the first grade, we would leave the house in the morning, and roam the neighborhood without our parents having any clear idea of where we were. We would on occasion decide that we needed candy, in which case we would bike a mile or so to the main road near us (the main road that guides folks to Ralph Wilson Stadium up in Buffalo). I'm sure they would have been horrified had they known.

    Fast forward to my kids (aged 6 and 4, soon to be 7 and 5) – they aren't even allowed outside the house without adult supervision. I'm not sure what happened, but I have to believe that 24/7 news coverage of all the shitty things that happen to unattended kids isn't helping the situation. I understand that the chances of something happening to my kids are small based on where I live (who could even find us?) – but they aren't zero, which makes me unwilling to change.

  2. Mike  •  Apr 20, 2008 @9:45 am

    My Dad is convinced a mountain lion or giant rabid wombat is going to snatch our 2 year old daughter from the back yard.
    Probably while I'm sitting on the deck reading the latest issue of The New Yorker while sipping Courvoisier.

    I've also looked back at the liberties I had as a 6 year old and know it'll never happen for any of my kids. To compensate, I do allow our daughter to try incredibly stupid things indoors. This morning she was climbing on and off a box of diapers. My wife was horrified that I didn't stop her. "What if she falls?" Then she'll learn not to do that. Children have really good saving throws against falls and trips. Well, mine does. Maybe not your kid – mine is definitely special and unique.

  3. Brian  •  Apr 20, 2008 @10:22 am

    Or she'll fall and break her arm, and Daddy will learn to not let her get in precarious positions again. :)

  4. LG  •  Apr 20, 2008 @10:48 am

    Mike, your dad is a bit off on the mountain lion/wombat thing, but there is a realistic chance that our girls could be carried off by a mamma black bear. With a near miss in my own back yard and reports of people's dogs being mauled to death right down the road from me, practicing the "free range" method in my neighborhood is not an option.

  5. Chris  •  Apr 21, 2008 @6:45 am

    I'd let a hypothetical nine-year-old who was responsible loose on the NYC transit system. I'm not convinced I'd let one loose on the Minneapolis transit system. It's really hard to get stuck during the daytime in NY – it's relatively easy to get on the wrong bus and end up stuck at the U for 30 minutes in Minneapolis.