No, It's "KILL the Brain and the Body Will Die."

Geekery, Politics & Current Events

Nerfing the brain won't work.

Bowling Green State University has banned the use of Nerf weapons on its campus, where "Humans versus Zombies" is evidently a popular pastime.

The game, a version of Humans versus Zombies, is still going to be played but it's going to be more difficult for the humans to survive, said senior Atonn Smeltzer, the web administrator for the group.

Both the University's actions, and those of campus humans, are wrong on so many levels that it's difficult to know where to begin. While the proposition that Nerf guns are "arms" within the meaning of the Second Amendment (assuming that the rights secured thereunder are individual rather than collective, and assuming that the incorporation doctrine applies those rights to the States) is questionable, it's likely reasonable even under strict scrutiny for a state university to prohibit open displays of arms on campus. Nonetheless, a categorical ban seems inappropriate, especially for arms as ineffectual as those manufactured by NerfCo.

As for the students, they should know that weapons of the sort under consideration are absolutely useless to guard against the risen dead. Only a lethal blow to the cranium, total destruction of the body by fire, or decapitation will stop these beasts. In all cases, for the best assurance of personal survival a heavy bludgeon, an edged weapon, or ideally an accurate, easily equipped firearm is required. These students need to get out of the woods and into the library, to study the scholarship of Romero, Brooks, and Namco.

Hat tip: /.

Last 5 posts by Patrick Non-White

4 Comments

4 Comments

  1. Grandy  •  Mar 27, 2008 @7:21 am

    Once again I'd like to remind everyone that one prepares now to survive the future zombie crisis.

  2. Patrick  •  Mar 27, 2008 @7:52 am

    Seconded, and if you must use these weapons, accept no substitute for the N-Strike Vulcan EBF-25.

  3. Grandy  •  Mar 27, 2008 @8:26 am

    The N-Strike Vulcan EBF-25 is exquisite.

  4. Ken  •  Mar 27, 2008 @8:49 am

    To the sensibilities of a modern university, the entire run-around-evading-and-shooting-zombies approach is all wrong. First of all, you can't really plan a response to the zombies until you understand their concerns. Are they adequately represented on the faculty? Does their theme house have comparable facilities? Is the Zombie Studies curriculum lacking? Their cry of "brains…brains….." is really just their entirely justifiable demand that we use our minds, not our emotions, to engage their reasonable demands.