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Like A Kick In the Gut

Nov 15, 2007
By .
Life

This one isn't funny. Sorry.

A family went to China to adopt their little girl. They didn't use our agency, Holt, but another respected one, Bethany. The happy couple met and took custody of their little girl and were spending time with her waiting for the visa from the U.S. Consulate, just as my family did this August.

Then the father slipped into a diabetic coma and died.

This adoptive family's blog has some of the details, albeit second-hand. The U.S. Consulate is, as of today, denying the mother the right to proceed with the adoption, requiring her to re-file a form from far earlier in the process. What would happen? She would go home, and the baby would go back to the orphanage, either to be in limbo until this sorts out or to await another placement.

Just awful for everyone involved.

Last 5 posts by Ken

6 Comments
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6 Comments

  1. Patrick  •  Nov 15, 2007 @10:16 am

    Truly awful, and unfortunately not atypical of consular bureaucracy.

    Might I suggest to readers in the San Francisco area (I know we have some) that a call to the office of Tom Lantos of the 12th District of California wouldn't hurt these folks?

    http://www.lantos.house.gov/

    Lantos is the chair of the House Foreign Affairs committee, and has more influence over the State Department than anyone outside the administration. As with all congressmen, he has staffers who are more than pleased to make inquiries on behalf of constituents to the executive branch, and an inquiry from Lantos means more to an embassy than one from any other congressman.

  2. Ken  •  Nov 15, 2007 @10:25 am

    An excellent suggestion. Thanks, Patrick.

    The family has also asked for prayers, for those of us so inclined.

    Edit: update from elsewhere:

    I just spoke with Sandi's mom. She is requesting that we stop the phone
    call campaign. Bethany, Sandi's agency, is requesting the same. The
    U.S. Rep's offices received over 1000 calls, and her mom is worried
    about it doing more harm than good at this point. Her mom talked
    directly to Senator Stabenow's office and both Senator Stabenow and
    Rep. Mike Roger's are working on it.

    Emails would probably still be welcome, though.

  3. Alicia In Texas  •  Nov 15, 2007 @11:14 am

    Oh, how horrible. I can't imagine losing a spouse or a child…much less both at once. I have wondered, myself, what would happen if my husband or myself were to pass while waiting for our son's finalization. The country of Korea requires two parents and the adoption isn't finalized in Korea, so you've got a window of time after you receive the child before finalization takes place (as you well know). What would happen?
    I'll be watching this case and hoping for the best for this little one and her family.

  4. Ken  •  Nov 15, 2007 @12:01 pm

    Alicia, thanks for stopping by.

    Friends, on a brief and much happier derail, Alicia does terrifically cool cards and collages based on pictures. Follow her link. We've used her work for Christmas cards and thank-you cards and have gotten many comments.

  5. Rosalea  •  Nov 15, 2007 @4:15 pm

    Horrible…so tragic….

    There are many folks trying to make this right….I just got an email back from comedian Julia Sweeney (yes from SNL…also an adoptive mom)…I sent her an email this morning and she is getting the word out "Hollywood style"….as trite as that may seem…we all know the media can put the pressure on ..and maybe it will help in some small way….

    Love reading your stuff Ken…you know I am around!!!
    Rosalea ;-)

  6. Ken  •  Nov 16, 2007 @9:43 am

    A good update:

    Dear Bethany Family & friends,

    I just thought I would let you all know that Sandi & Hannah were present for the swearing in ceremony this afternoon. They will be leaving tomorrow morning as the adoption is FINAL!!!!

    Sandi and her family (and her China travel family) are extremely grateful for all you have done on her behalf during this stressful and difficult time. Your actions and God's abundant grace have moved mountains for Sandi and her family half way around the world. We are giving thanks to our Heavenly Father for His FAITHFULNESS and His love! Sandi thanks you from the bottom of her heart. Please do not forget her and Hannah in the coming weeks and months, as they will need our continued love and support!

    Thanks again for everything!

    Eva, Patrick, and the China travel family"