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Effluvia

“The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them,” That quote by itself is funny enough. What makes this sublime is that the person who is dedicating their lives to saving drunk elephants is…Paris Hilton. Yes, if anyone knows a little something about post bender regrets it’s Paris. So, she is uniquely qualified to talk to these boozed up pachyderms about their need for a higher power to get through their issues.

Is this really the best she could do in finding a cause celebre? I mean I know Princess Di has the whole landmines thing sewn up, but couldn’t she have found some other area to shine the dim wattage of her fading celebrity? This seems a pretty hefty step down from her last purported charity interest, Rwanda. Then again, Paris might just want to party with the elephants, she has heard some stories about their parties. Hot!

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2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Ken  •  Nov 13, 2007 @11:09 am

    “some other area to shine the dim wattage of her fading celebrity”

    Beautiful.

    To answer the question of why Paris chooses this cause, one must inquire whether she is entirely familiar with what an elephant is. Might she think Elephant is a nationality?

  2. Ezra  •  Nov 13, 2007 @4:18 pm

    Alas, it was perhaps too perfect. Now Ms. Hilton’s publicist is announcing that Paris never made any comments about helping drunken elephants. I’m not sure I want to live in a world where no one cares about the plight of off the wagon elephants. Won’t someone think of the elephants?

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